Oscar and the Grouch: Laura’s 2017 Predictions

Usually when I think of the award season and the Oscars I am in total La La Land. But this year I have been knowingly distracted….it’s a time in our life when we are faced with talk of building up fences. But you better believe that come hell or high water I will not stop looking for those Hidden Figures in my life that will make me want to take a stand…and when the time comes and the first woman president makes her Arrival you will hear the roar of the Lion all the way from Manchester by the Sea to Hacksaw Ridge (ok admittedly that one is a stretch).

The Oscars are this Sunday and Jimmy Kimmel is hosting so we should all be in for a good time. JT will be singing and so will Lin-Manuel Miranda, who if he wins will be the youngest EGOT in history. But I don’t think he will win because of City of Stars…you know Hollywood’s homage to Hollywood.

Best Actor:
Who will win: Casey Affleck
Who should win: Casey Affleck
Biggest Actor snub: Jake Gyllenhaal for Nocturnal Animals and Hillary Clinton for POTUS

Andrew Garfield in Hacksaw Ridge – Let’s face it this race is between two actors and he ain’t one of ‘em. His lethal weapon was Mel Gibson as his director so he just doesn’t have a chance.

Ryan Gosling in La La Land – I love this guy and if Emma Stone gets a nomination (and probably a win) then he also should get the nomination. I wasn’t a huge fan of the singing in this but he really can’t do too much wrong in my book. Plus he is half of the prettiest couple in Hollywood.

Denzel Washington in Fences – I haven’t seen this movie but it’s exactly what the academy likes to see. He already won the Tony for his performance so he is either going to get his second Oscar or Casey will. I’m not really a fan of either of their usual speeches so it doesn’t matter to me.

Casey Affleck in Manchester By the Sea – I think he is going to get it. I just hope he shaves his beard so he doesn’t go down in history with that look. He has some personal stuff that makes me wonder if he should get the Oscar. You know…just those little things like sexual harassment accusations but if our President (#notmypresident) can win I guess so can Casey.

Viggo Mortensen in Captain Fantastic or Fabulous or whatever it is called – I didn’t see this. He won’t win.

Best Actress:
Who will win: Emma Stone
Who should win: Natalie Portman
Biggest Actor snub: Amy Adams in Arrival and Hillary Clinton for POTUS

Isabelle Huppert in Elle – she pulled the upset at the Golden Globes. I was shocked. I really thought Natalie Portman was the shoe-in for this. This is the toughest category for me because it’s between Isabelle, Natalie and Emma. I didn’t see this movie but I’m sure it’s bonne action.

Ruth Negga in Loving – Oh lord this movie was disappointing. Probably the most disappointing of the year for me since I was looking forward to it so much. It was so slow. It was like I could feel water dripping out of a faucet while watching it and that was more interesting. That being said, she did a good job for what she was given.

Meryl Streep in Florence Foster Jenkins: Oh Meryl Meryl Meryl. I wish she would win only so she can tell Trump to go to hell again but she won’t. That’s ok. She will just get nominated again next year.

Natalie Portman in Jackie: This movie was also slow which is probably why it isn’t getting much play but she totally deserves an Oscar for this. She nailed the accent and the look and pretty much everything. I wish I could say she will win but I think Emma Stone is going to. But it would have been so cool if Natalie won her second Oscar pregnant with her second baby.

Emma Stone in La La La De Dah Land: She is on fire in the award scene and she just won the BAFTA which basically means she will win this. I thought she did good but I am not sure Oscar-worthy. But she sang a solo in front a single camera so that usually does it. She just better appreciate the fact that Leo is giving it to her this year.

Best Supporting Actor:
Who will win: Mahershala Ali
Who should win: Not a clue – they were really grasping at straws for this category
Biggest Supporting Actor snub: Both the older kids in Moonlight-BIG TIME. and Hillary Clinton for POTUS

Mahershala Ali in Moonlight – I mean I guess I understand why he is nominated but not really. Once his scenes were done I was just waiting for him to be back on the screen because of all the talk about what he did. But the two kids who in this deserved the nomination much more. I think he will win though because he has all the momentum.

Jeff Bridges in Hell or High Water – Nope. Didn’t see the movie but I assume I wouldn’t be able to understand a single word he said anyway.

Dev Patel in Lion – Didn’t see this one either but I will. I think he could pull the upset against Ali but I doubt it.

Michael Shannon in Nocturnal Animals – Nope. What’s with these actors who you can’t even understand. It’s like taking the white trash Southern accent to a whole new level.

Lucas Hedges in Manchester by the Sea- I think he did a good job. But also kind of forgettable. There wasn’t one particular scene that blew me away.

Best Supporting Actress:
Who will win: Viola Davis
Who should win: Viola Davis
Biggest Supporting Actress snub: Taraji P. Henson for Hidden Figures and Kellyanne Conway for “Alternative Facts”

Naomie Harris in Moonlight – Similar to Ali, I can see why she got play for this but I am not sure it was Oscar-worthy

Michelle Williams in Manchester by the Sea – I have absolutely no idea why she is nominated here. If all it takes to get a nomination is say three lines and cry then I could have won 50 of them by now. She won’t win.

Viola Davis in Fences – When Viola wins, she will be one award away from an EGOT. She also won the Tony for this same role. She should win mostly because nobody can ugly cry better than her. Plus I love her speeches.

Octavia Spencer in Hidden Figures – I love this movie and all of the actors in it but I’m not sure why Octavia got the nomination and the other woman didn’t. Maybe because she already won an Oscar playing a similar role? She was fantastic in because the cast together were amazing. But she won’t win.

Nicole Kidman in Lion – Is it me or seeing Nicole in a supporting role category seems odd? I didn’t see this but wasn’t she in the entire thing and basically like the only woman in it? She won’t win but I always love seeing her and Keith Urban together.

Best Picture:
Why are there so many!? It’s like when every kid in the class gets a trophy for showing up.

What will win: La La Land
What should win: Hidden Figures
Biggest movie snub: Nocturnal Animals and Hillary Clinton for Inauguration Day

La La Land – Laddy daddy dah. This has all the buzz and I am still trying to rack my brain on why. Must be the whole musical thing, which usually all giddy over. But this one was slow and didn’t really do it for me. Don’t get wrong, I love Ryan Gosling but he didn’t take his shirt off in this role and he whistled too much. Plus, I’m not a huge jazz fan. I did love the opening scene and Mandy Moore’s (not the singer/actor) choreographer was great. This was an ode to Hollywood for sure and this will win because who in Hollywood doesn’t love themselves.

Arrival – I liked this one a lot. One of those that made me ask a lot of questions afterwards and think back to something that I missed.

Hell or High Water – there was no way in #hell I had any interest in seeing this unless I was high off bong water, which I never am. And do you even get high off bong water? I really don’t know.

Lion – Sadly, I didn’t see this one but I want to. And I’m sure it’s awesome. How can it not be if it is Giuliana Rancic favorite of the year.  

Hidden Figures: This was really the only “feel good” movie I saw this year. Every other movie was sad or deep or slow. This is just one example of a story that was meant to be told and I hope there are countless more like this that come of it. Plus I am a sucker for a good space movie (except Passengers this year which was beyond disappointing).

Moonlight – I am a sucker for a coming of age story for sure and this one was good. But I a not sure I would say best picture. 

Manchester by the Sea: I really liked this. In a year where almost every movie made me want to fall asleep, this kept me interested. It was just so sad though and I would rather a movie this sad not win.

Hacksaw Ridge: Mel Gibson directed this. Enough said. I love a good WWII story but not when a racist anti-semite directs it.

Fences: Again, I didn’t see it. I want to but it’s between La De Dah and Moonlight so this won’t win.

Person most looking forward hearing speak on red carpet besides Leo: Viola Davis
Person most dreading hearing speak on red carpet: Mel Gibson
Most popular color on the red carpet: White. I mean the outfits.



I’m Possible


I can’t say much today. I am not ready. All I know is that if anything, this outcome has made me want to do and be better; not for myself but for our country and the people in it. Because that is why we exist. That is why America exists. To help all. And as one person, I can’t help all and I can’t do all. There are days when knowing I have to go to the grocery store, then take the bags in and put them away and then cook seems like too much and I’m only doing that for two people. So I get it, it’s overwhelming and it’s easier to just be selfish and only care about yourself. But, I don’t want to be that anymore. So I vow to myself, that I will figure out what my thing is and I will do that soon. That thing that matters to me that will help others. So I’ll throw on my shoes, the platform ones, and I’ll pick something. And I’ll do it.  I can’t say much more than that right now. I love the positive posts on FB but those will die in the coming weeks and more needs to be done than just writing posts so I hope you join me in your platform shoes too. Just maybe not the Ivanka-brand ones, please.

Seismic and the Other S Word

We have a seismic problem in this country right now. And that problem is the overuse of the word systemic, which could really just be narrowed down to the term Seismic Systemic Systematics. Otherwise known as, “Just because you use the word systemic doesn’t make you smarter than me”.

I’m not sure when this term became the norm but can we all please learn the definition and not feel the need to use it every time we try to make a point. We have systemic racism and systemic sexism and systemic education crisis, and systemic food crisis and systemic this and systemic that. We hear it from every newscaster, from every guest on TV, from every actor an actress and musician, from every millennial or Gen X who wants to make a point about anything.

Systemically, as a country, we need to stop. So how do we stop this systemically systemic problem. Unclear. But below are some other examples of adjectives to use while we figure it out: universal, fundamental, intrinsic (my personal favorite), ingrained, inherent.

Just because you use these words before another, doesn’t mean you truly understand the issues or really want to do anything to change them. And when you do say them to me without any real value added to the end of the sentence, really all you are being is a systemic dill weed.



Such a Racket

I have been threatening to get a breast reduction for years. Mostly myself. I threaten myself. And my boobs. They feel threatened a lot by this. I told myself I would get this present for my 40th birthday. However, I did decide that I would hold off for now so instead I put my love and energy into a different kind of rack. A roof rack. And a car for that roof rack.

I decided it was time to get a new car. And I decided that car had to be a 4Runner. I wanted to be cool. I wanted a cool car. That was it. That was the car I was going to get. Nobody was going to tell me otherwise. I was going to get it. I was going to put a rails on top and I was going to look cool.

Last Sunday I went with my parents to go look for the car or I guess I should say truck. I test drove it and really liked it but my gut was telling me it wasn’t the right car for me. And it was upsetting. I knew in my gut that I should look at the Highlander just because it was bigger and roomier and was more practical and had more features. But I looked at that car and just thought “mom car”. And in my head I just kept saying “mom car mom car mom car mom car mom car and I’m not a mom. Yet.”.
I started to get teary eyed at the dealership because here I am having no clear picture of the future and seeing this version of myself in a truck with a dog and a car rack for my non existing kayak. And the other picture I saw was me with a dog and my non existing kayak driving a mom car with no kid. And neither felt particularly good.
I gave it a shot and went to look at the Highlander and I got in and tears started and I said “dammit this is a really nice car….”…..and at that moment I decided it was that car I needed to get.
So now I have a Highlander, which I am calling my “non mom mom car” because really it can go either way. I can throw a kid in there or not. I can throw a dog in there or not. But what I can do, is throw a kayak on the top because I got the rails on top. Will I? No of course not. But I can. So yes for my birthday I did get a new rack. A beautiful new rack. And a car to go with it.

Chipity Do Dah

When did it become so impossible to just pick out a bag of chips at the grocery store? There used to be like five options…maybe ten. Now there are 260 different chip options on the shelf and I can’t decide nor should I have to. It used to be plain and salted and Cape Code (which nobody really liked). Now I have salted, semi-salted, Himalayan Sea-salted, Black Sea-salted, lava-salted, kettle-corn salted. There is dill flavored, olive oil flavored, rosemary, onion, bbq, mesquite bbq, Texas bbq, Kansas bbq, vegan bbq, maple syrup, dill pickle, kosher pickle, sour pickle, sea-salted sour pickle, soft-shell crab flavored, smoked gouda, lobster-dill, sharpie pen flavored, new magazine fresh off the press flavored, hair-dye flavored, flavor of self-doubt…you name it, there is a flavor chip for it.

Let’s go back to the days where there was plain, salted and bbq. Where you knew you were wasting 400 calories and 606 mg of sodium for the ten chips that we got out of a bag.

Accept with an exception

Lately in life, I’ve had to say this a lot. “Oh well.” “It happens.” “Who knows.” I was lying in bed last night about to put on Netflix when I decided instead to look up inspirational quotes on Pinterest. It actually didn’t start with inspiration. I googled. “quotes on feeling like shit.” but then as I looked through them I realized that they really didn’t relate to how I was feeling at all so I shifted to a more positive page. It was then that I stumbled upon this quote “Sometimes you have to accept things the way they are and move on.”

Tears started to roll down my face because that is exactly what I needed to read. I talked in therapy the other day that I have three different people living inside of me and I never know who to listen to. I have the one person who wants facts for everything. Known facts for why things happen. The end. This is the reason. Then there is the person inside of me who doesn’t want to know anything or care at all and just let things be the way they are. It’s just how it is. Then there is the person inside of me who wants a metaphysical reason for being; wants to know that there is a divine reasoning for everything that happens. The sprits said you will get this so you will get this. These three lucky ladies get to constantly talk to each other every day and I’m the lucky lady who has to choose who to listen to.

That is why this quote hit me to hard. It’s kind of a version of all three.  For me, sometimes the only way I can deal with anything or move on or move sideways or forward or back or any place really is to just realize that I have to and there is no other choice. If I want to keep going, I have to just keep going and I can spend all day asking why or just move on to other things. It’s what has made me the stronger person I am. And when I can accept things the way they are and move on, it helps. It doesn’t make it easier or better or right or wrong. It just helps. So for now I accept until I find an exception. Then I’ll find a new quote.

Black Bear Arms

I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore about this issue. This isn’t just about guns anymore. I won’t get into who should be allowed to carry a gun, or buy a gun, or shoot a gun. My stance will be the same as many and be different from many and that is ok. I mean if you think that a 13 year old should be able to walk into a gun show and buy a weapon but can’t even buy nail polish remover at the drugstore without an ID, then you will have to live with those consequences when things happen (and things will happen).

What my issue is right now, is the blatant racists and hypocrites in this country when it comes to police violence. The latest victim yesterday in Baton Rouge is just too much to watch. I wanted to turn my head and turn the channel but I knew that I had to watch. We all have to watch. This was murder. There is no other way to describe it. It was a white racist cop who murdered a black man for no reason.

How can people cry and scream and say that they should be allowed to bear arms but when they do, they get punished for it. This man was not going to hurt those cops. He was pinned to the ground. His gun was in his pocket. He wasn’t going anywhere. There was NO and I repeat NO reason for the cop to shoot this man in the chest four times. There was video. There is proof. If he believed that his life was in jeopardy, take out a taser, hold him down harder, put his knee harder in his back and if totally necessary shoot him in the arm or the leg. But shooting this man in the chest was cold-blooded murder and he should be punished. But will he? I doubt it. This keeps happening and nothing is changing. Try to sit and watch this man’s son crying at the press conference and tell me things don’t need to change and that people don’t need to be punished for these crimes.

When I lived in Baton Rouge, I saw racism every time I turned around. My first job out of college, the CEO of the company I worked for would shout of the “N” word any chance he got and it was reasonable. I saw parents teaching their teenagers that it was okay to be scared of black people because black people carried guns. But they ALL carry guns no matter what color their skin. It’s the right they bitch about everyday.

I hope justice is served in this case. I am sad. I am angry. Worst of all, I am not surprised.