I’ve got it, maid!

You know you do it.  You pass the housekeeper’s cart in the hallway and you look around to see if anyone is looking.  Then you look in the cart and tell yourself that you need 15 more bottles of cheap shampoo and conditioner and a second shower cap and quite possibly a new sewing kit. You know that the shampoo does absolutely nothing for your hair and, if anything, makes it more dry but you MUST have those extra bottles. You shove it all back into your suitcase and feel like you just got away with a scandalous crime.

There is just something so empowering about stealing things from hotels. You make the excuse “well I paid for this room so I am allowed to take more.” You don’t think of the consequences for the housekeeper.  The poor thing probably has some dirty rotten boss in the basement with a comb-over and pot belly counting the items in the cart at the beginning of the day and saying things like “You are missing two bottles of Pert little lady.  What are you going to do about that? How are you going to repay me?”.  That is at least how I see the basements of hotels in my mind.

I feel bad but that is just not going to stop me from taking items.  It never will. You never know when you are going to need a 2×2 bar of soap and a shoeshine cloth, bring them home and put them in your special lotion box and then throw out two years later when you have a mental health purge.

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