When is it going to be my turn? Don’t get me wrong…I am very happy for my friends who have happy things happening for them. Weddings. Babies. New Homes. And I wish nothing but happiness for them. But…..
I want it to be my turn. I want it to be my turn to get a diamond ring. To have an ultrasound that shows if I am having a boy or a girl. To get gifts. To have my parents say Mazel Tov to me. To have people say “I knew it. I prayed for you.” or whatever religion people are, for them to be happy for me! I want my parents to finally get to dance to the twist at my wedding or hold their grandkid and be the grandparents I didn’t really get to have. I want to plan a wedding on a long holiday weekend and make people travel to it!
I want gifts. I want to register at every place imaginable and have people get super annoyed that they have to get me a gift. I want people to wake up on a Saturday and think “ugh, I could be hiking rather than squeezing into these damn spanx.” I want people to come up with excuses as to why they can’t come to my baby shower. I want 300 likes on Facebook from people who really don’t even care but feel they have to like anyway! I want to annoy people by asking them for money for my honeymoon and have them say “why should I pay for your vacation when I can’t afford my own!” I want people to judge me by the food at my wedding. I want people to hear the name of my kid and think “really, why would they ever name their baby that.”
I love my friends and I am super happy for them but I also want them to know that I am still here. That I still matter and that I want a big fat fucking congratulation when I get those things too.