Mazel Tov

When is it going to be my turn? Don’t get me wrong…I am very happy for my friends who have happy things happening for them. Weddings. Babies. New Homes. And I wish nothing but happiness for them.  But…..

I want it to be my turn. I want it to be my turn to get a diamond ring. To have an ultrasound that shows if I am having a boy or a girl. To get gifts. To have my parents say Mazel Tov to me. To have people say “I knew it. I prayed for you.” or whatever religion people are, for them to be happy for me! I want my parents to finally get to dance to the twist at my wedding or hold their grandkid and be the grandparents I didn’t really get to have. I want to plan a wedding on a long holiday weekend and make people travel to it!

I want gifts. I want to register at every place imaginable and have people get super annoyed that they have to get me a gift. I want people to wake up on a Saturday and think “ugh, I could be hiking rather than squeezing into these damn spanx.” I want people to come up with excuses as to why they can’t come to my baby shower. I want 300 likes on Facebook from people who really don’t even care but feel they have to like anyway! I want to annoy people by asking them for money for my honeymoon and have them say “why should I pay for your vacation when I can’t afford my own!” I want people to judge me by the food at my wedding. I want people to hear the name of my kid and think “really, why would they ever name their baby that.”

I love my friends and I am super happy for them but I also want them to know that I am still here. That I still matter and that I want a big fat fucking congratulation when I get those things too.


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