I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my need to be validated and where that comes from. When it comes to validation I am like a antithesis of myself. I want to go through life doing what I want and not really worrying what other people think. And at the same time, I want people to recognize what I do, like what I do and tell me I am good at what I do. Kind of like when I was a kid and I would ask every night for people to raise their hands if they love me. (That is for another story and maybe 1 or 2 therapy sessions).
We all need validation but I wish I was a person who didn’t. At work, I want to be recognized for what I do but why is that? Regardless of people telling me I do good work, I am still going to go in everyday and I am still going to work my butt off whether someone tells me I am doing good or not. And I will do that for the rest of my life because that is who I am.
I got new expensive face cream that is supposed to make me look like Jennifer Lopez. Ok that isn’t actually written on the directions. It doesn’t say “Apply a q-tip worth of cream to your cheeks each night and in a week you will have flawless skin, and a body of steel” But I pretend that it does. But why did I buy that expensive cream? Was it for myself or was it so people can tell me how young my skin looks since I am feeling rather old lately?
I just bought expensive new glasses and the person at the store told me only 80 people in the country have them (which I took for the entire world because that seemed like a cooler ratio). Did I buy them because they said “those are amazing. they look amazing on you” or did I buy them because I thought they looked amazing on me?
Why do I write in this blog? Do I do it because I want people to read it? Or do I do it because it is therapy for me? I think I mostly do it to make people think and to make people laugh but I do like knowing that people read it. I even go on FB sometimes (ok every time) to see if anyone liked it and look up on the stats on how many people read it. I wonder why a picture of a kid picking his nose in a shopping cart at Target gets more likes than my emotional and thoughtful and funny words.
I would say that the most artistic and the most creative people in the world don’t need as much validation as others and that is who I want to be.
P.S. Parking validations drive me nuts. Can’t we just park anywhere we want? The only people who should be allowed to park in specific areas are people with handicaps and people who win employee of the month at Home Depot.