Giving In

I am almost 40 and for the remainder of my 39th year, you will hear me say a lot “I am 40. I don’t need to listen to that anymore.” Or “I am 40. I don’t need to take your crap anymore.” Basically I am pretending I am 40 for the year so when it does happen it won’t seem so bad.

What I do know and I often say it is I spent all of 20s and basically all of my 30s tiptoeing around people. Trying to make people like me, love me, or not hate me. I worried what everyone thought of me and always wanted constant validation (see yesterday’s post). But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Why do I have to take everyone else’s crap on as my own. I don’t. And I won’t.

It is not okay to have bad behavior and get rewarded for regardless of the reason. It is not okay to tip toe around people because you are afraid they are going to go off the rails at any moment. People had to do that with me for so long and I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to constantly worry that if they say the wrong thing I wouldn’t talk to them, or I would knock them down. The more you do that to people, the more they will let you.

If you have issues. Go to therapy. Get on meds. But don’t expect me to prance around you acting like you are made of glass and can be broken at any time. If you want me to do that, pay me to do that. Then I’ll consider it.

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