Sorry folks, I’ve been really late on my Oscar predictions this year. I have no excuse other than the countless hours I’ve spent binge watching The Fosters and Shameless and who knows what other shows because there have been a lot. Winter is usually the time I go to the movies constantly and I just haven’t this year. Below is the list of movies I’ve seen and then we will get into my predictions.
Oh wait….does it even matter? Because LEO IS FINALLY GOING TO WIN. And if he doesn’t win, I’m not going into work on Monday morning because I myself will be in mourning. There is a good chance I will throw my Thai food at the TV if that happens.*
*Who am I kidding, that Thai food will be long gone by the time the award for best makeup comes up.
Movies I’ve seen that have been nominated in no particular order:
- The Revenant
- The Danish Girl
- Steve Jobs
- The Martian
- The Big Short
- Inside Out (twice)
- Star Wars
Let’s start with the dark horse or the black sheep in the room. Oh wait, there won’t be any in that room. Yeah, I went there. I did. This has been the year of Oscar boycotting because of the lack of diversity in the nomination field. And I have to tell you, while it is appalling, it’s not surprising and I really just don’t care that much. I mean why are people surprised? This lack of equality has always been there and will continue to be there. We live in a country where Donald Trump is winning! Why are you surprised people. Why????
I love the Oscars because it’s fun to watch. I don’t watch for any type of political or racial statement. Am I upset that Jada Pinkett-Smith will not be joining us with hubby Will? Not even the slightest. Oh poor Jada and Will…he didn’t get a third Oscar nomination. Yes, definitely boycott the Oscars but my all means, don’t give any money to low-income schools or Flint Michigan. If the lack of diversity does anything, it allows Chris Rock to be freaking hilarious.
Alright let’s go. Please keep in mind this is going to be a VERY cliff note version of what I’ve been doing the past ten years. VERY.
What Should Win: The Revenant
What Will Win: Spotlight
The Big Short: Good movie. Won’t win. If the housing crisis affected you in a horrible way, skip this movie.
Bridge of Spies: Token Tom Hanks nomination movie
Mad Max: Fury Road: Huh?
The Martian: Awesome movie. Just not best picture awesome.
The Revenant: Amazing in every way. Especially with Leo. And makeup, and cinematography, and special effects. And Leo. Did I mention Leo?
Room: How I wish this could win. How I wish the little boy got a nomination. At least Brie will take one for the team on this one.
Spotlight: Just the type of movie the Academy loves. Great movie. Go see it. It’s important to see and it will make you so freaking angry at the Catholic Church. Reason enough to go see it.
Best Actor in a Leading Role
Who Should Win: Leo
Who Will Win: Leo
Ummmm….my boyfriend. Leo. There needs to be no other comment here except it’s about freaking time!! He deserves it. He said like 20 words in the entire film, yet he still deserves it. I called this a year ago when I first heard about this. In fact, see below for proof from September:
Bryan Cranston for Trumbo: Second-runner up. He was great. The movie was boring. Winning scene: Prison strip search scene.
Matt Damon for Martian: Great movie and he did great. Totally not Oscar worthy.
Michael Fassbender for Steve Jobs: If you asked me a year ago, I would have picked him. I was so excited for this movie, I could ‘t even stand it. Aaron Sorkin..Danny Boyle. Could it be any better than this? YES IT COULD. Fail. Epic fail of a movie. Was Fassbender good? Sure. I guess. He pulled the turtleneck and high-waisted jeans off perfectly well.
Eddie Redmayne for Danish Girl: First-runner up. He could pull the upset that makes me go into mourning. He was fantastic but he won last year. So just give it to Leo.
Best Actress in a Leading Role:
Who Should Win: Brie Larson
Who Will Win: Brie Larsson
Cate Blanchett for Carol: Cate is becoming the new Meryl and is always nominated. I didn’t see this movie and I probably won’t. I’m kind of over the forbidden love mainstream lesbian movies. Been there. Done that. I don’t need to see a movie with no words and staring. I don’t do well with staring and no words. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
Brie Larson for Room: Ding. Ding. The winner. This was one of the top 5 books I ever read and the movie was equally fantastic as was she. What a lucky girl getting to hold that Oscar and take a bunch of photos next to Leo. Good for her!
Jennifer Lawrence for Joy: Oy. I love Jennifer but enough. She is 25 with three nominations and one win already. Leave it alone for a minute. The movie was a BORE. She was great. I mean I can see why she was nominated but still. 25. Let’s leave some room for some other women.
Charlotte Rampling for 45 years: This is literally the first time I ever heard of this movie as I am typing this. She has never been nominated so she is the official token older nominee in the category. Sorry Char, not going to happen.
Saoirse Ronan for Brooklyn: I think this her second nomination as well for someone in her 20s the first being Atonement. I didn’t see this movie. I will rent it when it comes out. She won’t win. However, Julianne Moore who will announce the winner has spent countless hours memorizing how to say her name. That I would put money down on.
Best Actor in a Supporting Role:
Who Should Win: I have absolutely no idea whatsoever
Who Will Win: Sylvester Stallone (yeah you read that right)
Christian Bale for The Big Short: He was good. Won’t win.
Tom Hardy for Revenant: He was really great. First-runner up
Mark Ruffalo for Spotlight: Jesus. Enough of him already. I like him enough but he just keeps getting these nominations and I don’t understand it. Last year for Foxcatcher and now this year. He was good in this and it will win best picture but come on!
Mark Rylance for Bridge of Spies: People are saying it will be him. I didn’t see this movie yet and I have no idea what he even looks like. So all I can say is maybe an upset?
Sly for Creed: He is going to win. I didn’t see it but it does look good. Actually, I’ve never seen a single Rocky movie in my life. Nope. I know, crazy right! So he will win. He will get a standing ovation and he will mumble his way through an acceptance speech.
Best Actress in a Supporting Role:
Who Should Win: Alicia Vikander
Who Will Win: Alicia Vikander
Jennifer Jason-Leigh for The Hateful Eight: Didn’t see it. Don’t want to see it. Won’t win. But I am pretty sure she will have a big annoyed pout on her face the entire time and not laugh at a single Chris Rock joke.
Rooney Mara for Carol: She just annoys me. Speaking of annoyed pouts. She will have one. And lots and lots of white powder on her face. And a horrible dress.
Rachel McAdams for Spotlight: Love her. Always have. Great job in the movie. Won’t win.
Alicia Vikander for The Danish Girl: Needs to win. Has to win. Why she wasn’t nominated for Best Actress I have no idea except I am happy about that because she then she would lose. She was amazing in this movie. She has come onto the American movie scene and won’t be leaving anytime soon. Powerful stuff in this one. Plus she is dating Fassbender so she can console him by throwing her Oscar in his face.
Kate Winslet for Steve Jobs: As much as I love her and she is one of my favorite actresses I just don’t see this as best Oscar material. She has been in much better movies. As much as I want to see her and Leo standing together with their Oscars, probably not going to happen.
Costume Design: Cinderalla.
Cinematography: The Revenant
Documentary: The Last Day of Freedom (I have no idea, I’ve seen none of these).
Foreign Language: Son of Saul, Hungary
Mad Max: Yeah, that could win a bunch of stuff. Maybe visual effects or makeup? Haven’t seen it. And…probably won’t.
Alright. That’s all I got folks. ABC, Sunday Feb 28 at 7PM…hours of red carpet before that. Giuliana Rancic anorexia starting about 5 on E!