Illegal “My Stepmother is an Alien”

The saga continues as it always does. The alien had a bad day at assisted living. She was “rushed” to the hospital in Boston for a UTI. This has been the song and dance for my entire life. I truly don’t think she will be happy until her full time residence is at a hospital (or a casket). It truly is a disease wanting that attention. The only time she feels safe is if there are doctors around, and charts and people doing all sorts of tests. I can’t imagine what the doctors and nurses think when they hear she is coming again. Her chart must have it’s own separate filing room.

The latest emergency happened last week and I think she might still be in the hospital. Here is an abbreviated version of this text conversation with my dad. * Side note:  he finally got a phone and can text so I don’t have to answer the phone anymore. This has significantly helped our relationship and communication and has allowed me to be more honest.

D:  “Still no word on when a hospital room will become available since it must be a private one as she may have an infection in her bowels. In the meantime everyone else has left for home and eventually I will have to also because of lack of sleep (3 hours maybe)”

Me: “yeah you should def go home. can’t she go back to her private room in assisted living? isn’t that the point of that place?”

D: “Right now they have to develop a new treatment plan that should be done in a hospital setting. It’s not clear if she will ever go back and go to a skilled nursing facility”

Me: “She just needs doctors to deal with her so you can rest. She won’t be happy unless she is in a hospital or nursing home.”

D: “She does not have a bowel infection but this is the weekend and I think the staffing is light.”

Me: “Well low staffing doesn’t mean something is wrong with her. Time to go back to assisted living then”

D:   “There are several things they could work on such as Karen’s cough, her legs and her total lack of energy along with her anxiety. ”

Me:  “Mash up some klonopin in her drink. It would help.”

D: “That would be illegal but it has been suggested (sort of) by others.”

And I digress…

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