Parental Emojis

The new phenomenon of adults using emojis is just cracking me up and makes me smile each time I see it happen. I think the moment someone over the age of 60 gets their hands on the idea that they can use them, a new world is opened up. No longer do they have to call us and tell us they are happy that the price of gas went down. They can do blow kisses and smiles. They don’t have to tell us how disappointed they are that Rizzoli and Isles is canceled. All they have to do is an unhappy face.

What makes it even funnier is the random symbols. Like when I am told they are going to a movie and after is a whale, a penguin and a hot dog. Makes absolutely no sense and it’s hilarious.

I often wonder what will be the thing that the kids and young adults laugh at me about when I’m in my 60s. Will it be not knowing how to scan my eyeball correctly at the grocery line to pay for my food? Or how to reverse into a parking spot in my flying car using the flyzone app on my iphone 67c?



Blue Light Special

This past month I was stopped by the cops twice in one week. I mean it makes sense since I drive over two hours a day and I don’t know how I am supposed to keep the speed limits on all of these roads. If I did, it would take at least another 15 minutes each day and I would most likely piss off a lot of people.

When I get stopped (and I’ve been stopped a few times in my life), I can only think of maybe one time I’ve gotten a ticket and honestly, I actually don’t really remember that but I must have gotten a ticket at some point.

The thing I’ve learned is that when you are stopped by the cops, just be yourself. And what does that mean for me? It means be funny, sarcastic, busy and indifferent.

One time a long time ago on my way to work on my first day at the job I was stopped for going 80 on the highway (who doesn’t do that??).
Cop: “Do you want a $250 ticket?”
Me: “No.”
Cop: “Then go slower.”
*He didn’t even ask for my registration and license.

Another time I was stopped for going through a yellow light.
Cop: “License and registration”
Me: “Here you go.”
Cop (seeing paperwork in the back from MSPCA “Oh you love animals. I won’t give you a ticket.”

Or how about the last time
Cop: “Any reason you were going fast.”
Me (trying to come with something to say really quick): “No. Not at all.”
Cop: Here’s a warning.

Or the time I got stopped for doing an illegal U-turn and not having my headlights on. It was so bright at the gas station that I didn’t realize they weren’t on when I left.
Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Me: “Doing the U-turn.”
Cop: “That and the light.”
Me: “Oh crap.”
Cop: “Be safe. I worry about girls your age. I have a daughter your age.”
*No ticket.

So whatever I am doing is working for me.